Social networking has become one of the biggest forms of entertainment in our lives, today. We would ordinarily, hear a bunch of adults announce it as, “Look at our kids. They don’t play in the sand like we did!”. Now, why would we want to Rocky it out when we have just done our hair, when sitting back on our massage chairs, wiggling our fingers about on an iPad 2, which will serve us a higher resolution worth of entertainment is the next best alternative?
But. Stop. Did it really just affect the millennial generation?
The Facebook epidemic is the most contagious and deadly disease amongst us. The propagated outbreak leaves not even parent’s, grandparent’s nor our grandchildren’s generation out! What was made as a mere tool of communication for university students, has become second nature to our daily lives and quite an integral part of our breakfast and bedtime routines.
But is it adding any form of sparkle to your twinkle or are you just giving yourself more rope?
First world problems. We can no longer repeat our outfits because that bitch has already seen it on my wall. Let’s upload to impress! Not repeat and depress. We all know our enemies are stalking us, just the way we stalk them. So bitch please, you ain’t better than them, so stop kidding yourself!
Oh. of course, you can tell a Muslim girl’s profile the minute you land on one. It has been “Muslimized!”. Their friend list is hidden.Tagged photos all blocked. A block list, that they add everything to, the minute anything is uploaded. Adds all her relatives and then blocks them! In all their effort to keep out personal information, they still manage to put up every significant, annoying status about that one person who is of course, the ultimate bitch of all time. No names mentioned in the status but still it’s on your wall directed to the person. You hate them so much! But still, clearly, the person is your friend on Facebook! Wow. Who’s the two-faced bitch now?
The ultimate break-up test. Who’s going to delete who off? Because that’s the first question on every couple’s mind! Let’s end our relationship status on Facebook and get pity votes? Er. Like who do you think you are..Rihanna?! You can’t be the first one to delete the other person off, because that would just make him think you are weak and childish and everything about his wall/photos/status is affecting you! I don’t see why you should care. Block the person off, completely. You’re not friends anymore and face it, you will never be friends. Out of mind, out of sight. The end.
I’ve never heard the word “STALKING” being so frequently used in the world until Facebook came about. It’s almost like the word was made solely for the page! Facebook has made stalking easier but really we’ve just made ourselves vulnerable to being stalked. We put up a whole lot things and then proceed to check ourselves in at every single bus stop we go to, like we’re Britney on the move & paparazzis are hiding around us. Sorry to disappoint you, the only thing you and Britney really have in common is being blonde. The more you try, the worst it is.
Then, you have the million YouTube, 9gag and Meme links that fill your newsfeed! I must admit, those are probably the best bits of Facebook. You get updated with the latest news on cricket, soccer and the death of some random person but, oh thanks to Facebook, everyone was suddenly his fan and putting up RIP status’! The best part of it all, people will just start “liking” that status..like they were born during his time and were his biggest fans!
How many times have you proceeded to “like” something you don’t really like, but you click it anyway because so many people have liked it..and if you don’t like it, it’ll just seem like you’re jealous or stupid! Mhmm.
Plus, there’s that page that has been around since the world first began, I mean since Facebook began,’ If you” LIKE” this page, FB will soon have a ”DISLIKE” button.’ We’ve all been there, done that. But no, it hasn’t happened. For the sake of friendships and relationships, I hope Mark never gives in to all our whiney FB demands because we don’t need FB to bring anymore drama to our lives.
Then, once a year you will hear from a friend who never even remembered you existed for the rest of the 364 days! You’ll get the most insincere, half-hearted Facebook wall post that will only read “happy birthday”. No exclamations. No smileys or hugs or kisses or sweeter words to end the wish! And at that juncture, I wonder why they even bothered with that awkward wish! The even weirder ones go less than half the way and just type out “hpy bdae”. Because their fingers will fall off if they just bothered to spell out the rest of it and their brain just suddenly, forgot how to spell correctly, and they had never heard of copy, paste!
You suddenly know about that one party you weren’t invited to! You know about that uncle of yours who just bought himself a new BMW, ONLY because you have it and not because it was his dream car! No way at all. You know about someone’s grandmother being in hospital half way across the world and it’s suddenly your problem as well. Your boyfriend just “accidentally” has his arm around some other girl at the party you didn’t go to.
Some of these things, we just do and do not want to know. But thanks to Facebook, we don’t even have that choice anymore. Deactivating is just not an option! We can’t live with it, nor can we sadly, live without it. It’s a disease and it will only deteriorate with time! Hopefully, we soon find a cure to this cancer.